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Trent Richardson is Doomed

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Trent Richardson is Doomed

I had to copy this portion verbatim from the boys at Deadspin.  It was that funny to me.  The full article is here.  Sorry Jimmy.

2. Trent Richardson is doomed. You can hear the desperation when the Browns tell you that their new rookie running back will be back in time from surgery to start the season. They so urgently want you to believe that, but you and I know better. You and I know that the Browns locker room is a haven of filth and disease matched only by the outdoor toilets of central Mumbai. The Browns are like a fucking Robin Cook novel come to life. People just mysteriously fall ill and die all over the place. The team’s surgical instruments are all covered with black algae. Does this team even have a training staff? Is there some evil equipment manager who’s secretly a Steelers fan and throws all the Purell shipments into a nearby ravine? Cleveland is where players go to die. Richardson is never coming back. He’s going to lose all his limbs and his sight and hearing and he’ll be begging his nurses to kill him by shaking his head in Morse Code. SOS … Help meeeeeee …

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Quarter Twain

About the Author:

Yes, I am a stay at home dad. Yes, Gisele Bundchen has an open invitation provided she doesn't speak Portuguese during or after. I am pretty sure my wife would give me the go ahead. Yes, I am superior to the retardees I compete against on a yearly basis in the best fantasy football league in the world. I could easily qualify for a better league, but it doesn't exist. Yes, I am a tri-athlete, thank you for asking. Finally, yes, I have not yet won my championships, but that is easily explained by small sample size. They are not a valid measurement of success at this stage in FFKL history. I could show you the math, but math is hard, that is to say, you would not understand.

Discussion

  1. Fighting Cadavers
    Fighting Cadavers  September 1, 2012

    “In the second round the Geranimals went with a big pounding “explosive through the hole” running back, Terrance Gannaway. Most scouts wrote off his numbers as him benefiting from being in the same offense as RGIII. They’re wrong. This guy is a physical specimen who will adapt to the NFL game just fine.”

    LOL

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